


Hellblazer-writers Prompts

by Sapphy



Category: Hellblazer & Related Fandoms
Genre: Drunkenness, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Magic, Magic-Users, Platonic Cuddling, Prompt Fic, Ridiculous, Sex Toys, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 09:26:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3723733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphy/pseuds/Sapphy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of short fics written to prompts posted over at hellblazer-writers on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prompt: Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?

"Chas." Kick. "Chas." Kick. "Chas, wake up y'fucker."

Chas opened a single blurry eye to take in the unwelcome sight of John, swaying and smelling even more strongly of smoke and booze than usual, standing beside his bed. "John? What's up?"

"Wa'sup? Yer'n m'fuck'n bed! N'yuh naked. I c'n see yuh junk."

Chas rolled his eyes, exasperated. "John, this is my bed. You're in my room."

John stared around himself vaguely. "S'my room."

"No John, this is my room. You're in my room, this is my bed."

"Oh. C'n I sleep with you then? I cn't find m'room."

Chas sighed. He wasn't sure if John was being serious, or if this was just an excuse to get into Chas's bed. It wouldn't be the first time. John suffered badly with nightmares, and though he'd never admit it, Chas knows they're better when there's someone around.

He lifted up the edge of the blankets, and John slid between the sheets.

"Y'still naked," he commented.

"And you're still dressed. Take some clothes off and go to sleep."

John surveyed him for a long moment with the over serious eyes of the really drunk, and then began wriggling out of his pants.

"Tie too," Chas told him firmly. "I'll not have you strangling yourself in the night."

"Y'no fun in bed Chazzy," John muttered, but dutifully removed both tie and shirt, leaving him in only his boxers.

Chas hooked an arm around his friend's waist, pulling him close so that he was tucked against him, boney but pliable, his hair tickling Chas's nose. "I'm plenty of fun John, you're just not my type. Now go to sleep."

"N'fun," John murmured rebelliously, but his eyes were already closing. "G'night Chazzy."

Chas waited until he was sure John was sleeping the deep sleep of the truly pissed before he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of John's head. "Night John."


	2. Prompt: That…is a dildo.

"John, what's..." Zed froze in her tracks, taking in the scene before her. "John, what're you doing?"

John didn't look up from the object he held in his gore-streaked hands. "Ritual to increase my luck energies. Japanese mostly, but I threw in a bit of Yoruba and a whole lot of Liverpool just to spice things up."

"That's a dildo."

John looked at the object in his hands in mild surprise, as though he somehow hadn't noticed what he's holding. "It's a totem of primal energy."

"John, it's a dildo. It's purple. And ridged."

John shrugs. "No reason it can't be both. Sides, it was in a sale." He took in her scandalized expression. "Don't worry, it's for magical purposes only. There are some things that should not go inside the human body, and a mixture of lamb's blood, mandrake and worm lizard scales is one of the them."

" Dios mio, that was not what I was worried about!"

John grinned. There were runes, or maybe Japanese characters drawn on his bare chest in what she assumed was lamb's blood, and concentric circles around his nipples, like targets. "First rule of magic, ritual spells are disgusting."

"I though the first rule was that there's always a price."

John looked equal parts annoyed and proud. "Alright little miss cleverclogs, the second rule is that ritual spells are disgusting. The third rule is that things are rarely what they seem. For example, this," he waved the dildo, "is a cheap sex toy. But it's also a totem of primal energy."

"You know the more I learn about magic, the gladder I am that I'm a psychic not a witch."

"But just think of how many blood and lizard covered sex toys you're missing out on."

"So, so glad."


End file.
